I’m not doing this to run away.
I’m doing this because I’ve finally started listening to the truth I’ve been carrying for far too long.
I’ve spent years performing stability—trying to earn peace through hard work, money, responsibility, and control. But the life I created wasn’t built on truth. It was built on fear. It was built to survive the trauma I never had space to feel.
I’ve carried guilt that isn’t mine.
I’ve been gaslit, manipulated, and used.
I’ve watched my father deny and distort reality while I tried to make peace out of destruction.
And I’ve lived with a constant undertone of, “What if it’s all my fault?”
I’m done with that.
What I want now is simple—but not small.
I want peace.
Not performance. Not silence. Not dissociation. Real peace.
I want to build a life where my nervous system doesn’t have to brace for impact.
Where I don’t confuse love with obligation.
Where I can use my voice, my body, and even my pain to create something meaningful.
Where freedom means coming home to myself—not escaping who I am.
I don’t know exactly what the future holds.
I might not have a plan the way I used to.
But for once, I trust that I don’t need one.
Because I’m not chasing perfection anymore.
I’m choosing truth.
And that’s enough.
That’s my why.
Leave a Reply