I Left My Job — And Now I’m Sitting in the Aftermath

I recently made one of the boldest decisions of my life: I left my job. A stable, well-paying job with benefits, good colleagues, and a steady future. From the outside, it made no sense. And right now, if I’m being honest, I’m sitting in the fog of that decision, questioning everything.

Here’s the truth: I didn’t feel like myself in that role. I was wearing a mask. I was disconnected — from my clients, my colleagues, my creativity, and ultimately from myself. The work became heavy. Repetitive. I was no longer moved by the stories I heard in meetings, I was overwhelmed by the work they implied. I was constantly behind. I procrastinated. I dreaded Mondays. I didn’t want to prepare, didn’t want to commit, didn’t want to keep pretending I could do this forever.

Even in moments of success, I felt like I was just passing through. That’s been a pattern — in my work, in my relationships, in this city. Never really rooted. Always searching for something more exciting, more alive, more me.

I’d travel to get a break — and for a while, I’d feel alive again. But coming back always brought dread. I didn’t have much outside of work to come home to. Isolation crept in. My connection to this city was strained. I blamed it for my unhappiness.

And so I left. The job. The routine. The version of myself I had been forcing to keep going.

Now I’m here, in the in-between. No job. No clear next step. And yeah, part of me feels like I destroyed my life. Like I burned down something good. There’s grief. There’s regret. There’s fear. But there’s also something deeper — a knowing that I wasn’t living in alignment. That I needed to stop and feel everything I’d been pushing down.

This isn’t just about work. This is about old wounds — family, self-worth, the breakup I haven’t fully grieved. It’s about the parts of me I’ve neglected for years in the name of productivity and performance.

I’m finally attending to them. Slowly. Gently. I don’t have a new career path mapped out. I don’t know if I’ll travel, or if I’ll find some part-time work while I heal. But I do know this: I want a simple, joyful, connected life. I want to feel like myself — not just on vacation, but every day.

I don’t know what’s next. But I know this was the first right step.